You want them. Everyone does.
GISHpoints are the world’s most luxurious status symbol. GISHPoints can elevate your social standing, bolster your self-esteem, clear up your skin, and make your breath up to 35% more translucent.*
Not to overstate their obvious value, but GISHPoints also provide you with other special, surprising bonuses like:
And now, you can get MORE of what you want out of life, because when you join the 2019 GISH Hunt by March 5 at 11:59 PM PT, you will get… wait for it…
Go ahead. Scream with joy at this remarkable turn of events. Then, go SIGN UP RIGHT NOW to get your 365 BONUS GISHPOINTS! Then, invite all your friends (only the really, really good ones, like your BFF, and your mail carrier and barista) to sign up for GISH right now so they can get 365 BONUS GISHPoints, too!
*Some claims have not been tested and are not guaranteed, especially in extreme cold weather climates.
**This tier has not yet been activated. It is under consideration by the newly created GISH Board of Cohorts. Upon execution, all GISHpoint members will be notified immediately and under the appropriate messaging protocol (feathers and pickling included).