As evidenced from our previous mascots’ high rate of turnover and attrition, GISH isn’t always the easiest or safest place to work.
We’re not saying it’s a hostile work environment, but there have been an unusually large quantity of workplace incidents over the years. Previous mascots have been run over by a bus, gone into rehab, had nervous breakdowns, lost rigged elections, been hospitalized in unfortunate bounce-house injuries, and have even been eaten alive.
But that’s all in the past. We’re excited to announce that we’ve hired a new 2019 Intern and mascot… ASSBUTT!
We reviewed his CV and are impressed by his work history, and in the interview process we learned he isn’t litigious which makes him a great fit for GISH. He’s also the only potential mascot that survived the delicate chrysalis stage of development in the Hybridization Species Lab, so we’re confident he’s got the tenacity to be an excellent GISH Mascot and intern. We hope it’s a mutually rewarding experience—or that at least he survives through 2019!
Somebody should probably get around to letting Possubull know he’s been forced into retirement…